At the end of January I wrote about my mom going into Memory Care. Well, “funny”story.
A few weeks ago I got a call from the director of her community. She said she had visited my mom and talked with her at some length. Then she dropped the flower bomb, meaning the good news! “Your mom doesn’t belong in Memory Care.”
Turns out I was right about the situation with her. I had told the independent living staff that I agreed she had hallucinations and couldn’t remember times and dates, but that she knew all of the family still, knew everything about us, and the same with friends.
The director noticed the same thing, saying, “She knows everyone’s name.”
So they moved her into the regular assisted living, where she can eat meals with friends and go out of the building whenever she pleases. She’s happy because she has the care she needs (reminding her about appointments, for instance, and three meals a day), but has some freedom. She didn’t fit in Memory Care. It’s wonderful to fit in, especially when you have a lot of aging issues.
About the hallucinations. Apparently they stopped once she moved out of independent living. Nobody knows why, but I suspect she was lonely and scared living by herself in an isolated area of the building and maybe this triggered them.
ADOBE STOCK PHOTO
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Wonderful news that your mother is receiving the assistance she needs!
Carole, I am so happy to hear her happy and get to visit before too long.
That is great news. It almost never happens that a person moves to less care. Maybe meds caused the hallucinations? My mom had something like that at the end although it was bits of history that she was visiting, reliving an event in her life.
I know. It’s unheard of. The only med change she had was a slight change in her thyroid medication. It seems unlikely that it would be that although meds seemed like a possibility. I think she was really floundering in that apartment by herself.
Interesting timing on this post. My dad is in an assisted living facility. He is losing touch with reality. Every visit includes at least one story from him (and occasionally more) about something that did not actually happen. He currently believes a guy who lives in a room across the hall from him is dead. He’s been telling me this for weeks. The guy is not dead. We walked by a guy in the dining area who I thought was the guy. I asked, “Is that George?” My dad replied, “That’s not George. George is dead.” Later when I left my dad’s apartment, I walked by George’s room. George was in there — same man we saw in the dining area. Sigh.
So many other things like this are happening now. The care team never engages with me unless I start the engagement. They aren’t the best at communicating. So, I reached out and told them a little bit about some of his imaginary tales. They still don’t seem concerned.
The other problem is that the rest of my family doesn’t want to spend any more money on his care, at least for now.
Hope your mom does as well as can be with her setting.
It’s so hard to hear/see that stuff. So hard to converse with a parent you don’t know where their mind is at that moment. That’s how I feel sometimes with mom, especially when she talks about the hallucinations. I think hallucinations must be pretty common. The care team seems to think so. My uncle hallucinated that my (dead) father was with him in his nursing home room in the last couple weeks before he passed. Do you think your father’s could be medications? Some people have suggested that with my mom. Best wishes to your dad (and you) and thank you!
My dad is 93. I’m not sure medication can do anything at this point. I’d like to talk to his doctor about, but she is the most non-responsive doctor I’ve dealt with in years.
My dad is the most introverted person I’ve ever known. He doesn’t participate in any of the activities where he lives. He sits by himself when he eats. He basically does nothing other than sleep and eat. He can’t read anymore. Can’t use his computer anymore.
Because of how introverted he is, I’ve always struggled with how to have a conversation with him. With his imaginary world, and that there is nothing going on in his life to discuss, it has become even more challenging.
Great news about your mom! xx
I know, so exciting. I wonder if she will end up back there at some point, but glad she can enjoy this while it lasts.
💙
Such good news about your mom! And thanks for the flash fiction recommendation.
Thanks so much! and you’re welcome!
Wow, Luanne, this sort of thing rarely happens, but how wonderful for your mom. 😊
Jennifer, it’s so unique! I hope she can stay there to the end. We will see. Right now she is happy!
A wonderful update
Wonderful news with your mother!!! I am happy to hear that she is doing so well! 🙂
Thank you for sharing the good news about your mother!
That’s great! Does she have an actual diagnosis? I hope she can stay where she is for a long time.
I hope so, too. She does, but it’s mild, according to her doctor.
Yay for Mom!
I know!!!! Thanks, Annette!
So glad you found a good solution! It’s so hard to know what’s best. I sympathize with the dilemma.
It was esepecially hard because I haven’t seen her in months and had to take the word of other people.
So glad your Mom has her facilities. Thanks for the update, Luanne.
That is exciting news!!! I am so happy for you!
Thank you, Rebecca. It’s amazing!
I love miracles that come when someone simply takes time to listen. Hugs!
What wonderful news about your mom, Luanne! I’m sure that’s a big relief to you both.
It sure is! Thanks, Eilene!
I’m so glad for her and you! God bless.