Websites and Nursing Homes

The guy who created my daughter’s website made one for me (ask me for his contact information if you are interested in hiring him). I might make a few small changes to it, but see what you think: website link. I wanted it to focus right now on Doll God, but to provide samples of my writing, as well.

Then I wanted to add something fun related to dolls and art, in honor of Doll God. So I asked blogger mareymercy if I could put up her recent doll photographs. Here they are! If you want to find her photos from the home page of my website you click on DOLL GOD and then go to Dolls as Art. There is a reason her blog subtitle is “Photography and Frivolity”–so much fun!

On my links section, I have mareymercy’s photography links. If you know of other doll art that is appropriate, good-natured, and high quality, post me the link in the comments here so I can consider adding it to my list of links.

 PHOTO BY MAREYMERCY

My dad is in the nursing home now. He’s not happy to be there, and I completely understand. My experiences with nursing homes have not made me too keen on the places–even the best of the nursing homes are still “institutions” with all the potential problems of institutions.

When my grandmother was in a nursing home for rehab after surgery (years ago), a large lady named Frieda gave her baths, shoving and slapping her. Grandma had a panic attack and called me, telling me how she needed to get out of there. It’s the same for my dad. He had a nightmare that he was in jail.

Those of you so inclined please pray for him. And he will be thrilled with good vibes, virtual Reiki, and all manner of well wishes.

53 Comments

Filed under Art and Music, Blogging, Creative Nonfiction, Doll God, Dolls, Nonfiction, Photographs, poems about dolls

53 responses to “Websites and Nursing Homes

  1. Prayers for your dad, Luanne, and for you–I know it’s very hard on both of you! I’m looking forward to a visit to your site, and I’m reminded of a smart young artist at a former college who used dolls in all of her work. I’m going to see if I can find her and have her check out your site!

    Pam

  2. I’ll keep your Dad in my thoughts, Luanne. Hope it is a temporary situation.

    And the site looks good!

  3. L- sorry for your dads struggles. So many ups and downs for you right now. Love the doll photos!
    R

  4. Sending you and your dad best wishes Luanne. The website looks great:-)

  5. Thinking of you and yours, Luanne.

    I love the site for Doll God. xo

  6. The web site is terrific!!! Sorry about your dad. Some homes are just the greatest and some are tragically awful. I have seen folks have very good adjustments and others just not take to it at all. Praying your dad finds his peace there.

    • I’m glad you like it, SK. Actually the home my dad is in is one of the top 5 in the state, and there aren’t any serious complaints about it at all. But it’s such a shock to find himself in with a group of people who don’t communicate and are like the “walking dead.” Much luckier than my maternal grandmother was with the nursing homes she was in. The problem is, even if your family can figure out a way to pay for a nice one, if you’re not “on the list,” it doesn’t matter. And that is what happened with her each time.

  7. Great news about your new website! I will go there immediately for a “walk around town.”

    No so great news re: your grandmother and now your dad. I hope no one is anything but 100% kind to him at the nursing home.

  8. P.S. I love your webpage!! Very clear and easy to negociate. Also love MareyMercy’s doll pix!

    • I’m so glad you love it! He did a good job, I think.
      Those doll pix are great. I love all her photography. It’s such a great balance of whimsical and an attention to detail and line.

  9. All good wishes for your father. Nursing homes just aren’t home and that’s the toughest part. Hope he finds a way of coping that brings peace.

    • Thank you so much, Jean. I think that nursing homes aren’t home is one of the hardest parts. I know that I feel best when I’m sick when I am at home, especially if a cat snuggles next to me ;). I hope so, too. It’s hard to know how best to help him. And really hard to watch this happen to him.

      • If it seems that he is likely to be there long-term, I suggest surrounding him with treasures from home so that his space is as ‘homely’ and familiar as possible. That’s what we did with both my parents when they had to be in hospital or nursing homes, even for a night! Obviously, a friendly face from the family, if at all possible, is the best solution as home is really the people that belong there.

  10. Yin and yang at work in your life, Luanne and it must be so hard to find the balance right now. Thinking of you and all the good you’ve done here and I’m sure elsewhere, too. Hoping for something good for your dad, too.

    • S, thank you for your image about balance. I think you’re right. My back went out today. I think I’m all out of whack and need to find some balance!!

  11. Love the photo Luanne 🙂 I’ll go and check out the website. But having commented on another post that I was glad your dad was being looked after in the nursing home and now reading this, I’m thinking, ‘oh dear’…I hope he will be well looked after and will be treated well and be able to feel more settled. Thinking of you… xoxo

    • Yes, it’s really hard for him, though I do think they are dong a good job taking care of him there. I feel really helpless to help him. Ugh, what a horrible time! Than you for your kind comments!

  12. Oh Luanne, I’m so sorry to hear about your father. I’ll certainly keep him in my prayers. You’re right, even the best facilities have problems.
    Oh a happier note, your new website looks fantastic! Congratulations! xo

    • Thank you, Jill. They took away his egg carton mattress cover that my mother got for him. It’s kind of his “blankie” in that it gives him a better chance of being able to sleep. The nurse said it couldn’t be washed and had to go. SIGH. I understand all their rules and regulations, but it makes it difficult when you find something that really works for you and have it taken away. The hospital let him keep it, interestingly.
      Oh, I’m glad you like the website!

  13. I’m always sorry to hear of anyone having to go into a nursing home, but most times there is no alternative if we want to make sure they get good care.

  14. Thinking of your dad, Luanne. Seeing more and more what the “options” are for the elderly, I’m not so sure I want to grow old enough to need one myself. Why aren’t there better options? I just don’t know.

    Congrats on the website and thanks for the links!

    • Love your doll photos on my website. Thank you so much!
      Exactly: why aren’t there better options? We have been able to go to the moon for almost 50 years, but we can’t take better care of the elderly? So ridiculous.

  15. I know how your dad feels about being in a nursing home. Not only does it have the jail atmosphere but also it has the sense of last stop. Hopefully, he’ll be getting the care he needs. Watch out for bedsores.
    Your website is cool! 🙂

  16. I’m sorry to hear that your dad is in a nursing home and so unhappy about it. I hope his situation improves. You are both in my prayers. I took a look at your new website. It’s eye-catching! 🙂

  17. I worked at a nursing home for 4 years as an Activities Director from 1994 – 1999. I still recommend the one I worked at, since I have connections in the nursing and dining area. I feel that sometimes people have preconceptions and high expectations, but the therapy wing in almost any nursing home is more lively and better taken care of than the main hallways filled with a variety of ones who have been less enthusiastic in their fitting in. My activities asst and I would go into rooms in positive ways, it is a state mandated requirement for each and every (even rehab) resident to have some form of activities. Often, musical programs are ones which help ease people into the setting, little arts and crafts, puzzles, atrium with gardening projects, pet visits and other things can brighten their days. My parents came to my place of work, when they would come from out of town. Their dogs were ‘pre-approved,’ with their sheltie being so sweet and also, early on, their collie. My three children volunteered to participate in different activities. My youngest liked when we went to the Park of Roses, the Franklin Conservatory or the Columbus Clippers games. My son liked when we went fishing and picnics, while my artistic daughter would come to help out in arts and crafts, along with our Valentine’s Day dance, she helped by bringing Q-tips and make up, scarves and jewelry to put on the women, with two of her theater friends assisting.
    I am just hoping that if he gets therapy, your Dad will heal and get better, since he has some nightmares about the place… I hope you reported to the state about the place when your own grandmother was slapped and so poorly disrespected and mistreated, Luanne! Can someone stay with him until he goes to sleep? My Mom stayed with my Dad for the six weeks of OT and PT he got when he had a stroke. She would bring the crossword puzzles from the newspaper. Also, would watch his favorite t.v. shows at night, eating meals with him, since they only cost $3 then….
    Your new blog and look fits in with the artistic and creative writers’ group that is featured in several of our own shared connections. I love this a lot!

    • What a wonderful story, Robin! Today was a good day for Dad! He is feeling better and feeling as if he can get around this thing. He has hopes of getting out of there soon. The thing is, his mind is so good! He even took the bull by the horns himself and made an important to talk to the head nurse about what he wants to happen so he can sleep well! Do you know that when my grandmother was in that hideous nursing home she was in that my aunt stayed with her every day and every night. For 3 months. I lived in California and she was back in Michigan, so when I visited I got to care for her, but most of the time it was my aunt, bless her heart. My dad, luckily, is in a much better nursing home!

  18. I liked very much your poetry, “Calculating Loss,” which has a serendipitous or surprisingly happy ending< Luanne. I love bottles and mason jars filled with blue, green, clear and ruby glass pieces smoothed by the lake or sea. I will keep on checking back there, and report new finds, since I am not on Facebook, just WordPress and LinkedIn.

  19. Your “header” looks perfect, Luanne! My thoughts are with you and your father; I hope he finds some peace in his new home. It’s a tough call though.
    x
    PS~ I’ll hop over to your other site, too!

  20. Your website looks great Luanne! And I’m sitting here with angry tears at the thought of anyone abusing an elderly person. It makes me so mad! I’ll be praying for your dad and for you.

    • I know! Faith, you would have loved my grandmother. She was the sweetest lady in the world! It was so awful. She got out of there quickly at that time, but for her last 3 months she had to go to a nursing home that was also not that great. But as I explained to Robin above, my aunt stayed with her around the clock!! It was really wonderful that my aunt did that and helped Grandma so much. When I went to visit her (from California–she was in Michigan) I got to help her, but it was my aunt who performed superwoman duty there at the nursing home.

  21. elizabeth ann johnson-murphree

    I am mentally preparing for open heart surgery in a few days…then on to a rehab nursing center, your story saddens me. Although I have lived over seven decades, I am considered “old”. Yet, within the past two years I have published five books of poetry and one on my personal art. I hope I run into “Slap Happy Berta” where I am going. I am the one to “slap back” :-))) You have an enjoyable site. eajm

    • Oh my goodness. I am so sorry that you have to go through that. I assume that since you are planning ahead for the rehab center that you have checked it out ahead of time? The place my grandmother went to was really not a good place, and she had been put there without any research. My mother and her siblings got her out of there fast. My father’s nursing home is very well run, a good place, but just not for him! Not really a rehab for post-surgery. And he is out already!!! Best wishes for a very successful and swift recovery! My prayers will be with you.

      • elizabeth ann johnson-murphree

        Thank you Luanne, yes I have checked out everything. I live in independent housing where instead of closer to the over 55 age group it is more 85 and up. I expected something different, but love the apartment, it is like being around a lot of grandparents. My body is pushing 80 but that thirty something mind just avoids mirrors. Me eajm

  22. Prayers for you and yours, Luanne. Am I right that your dad is already out? Love your website, too. Very clean, easy to navigate and professional.

    • Thank you so much, Marie! Dad is out and been working on a jigsaw puzzle! I wish it were better weather so he could walk outside the house as the PT wants him to work up to walking a full five minutes every hour!

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