Too Many Ideas

Last Monday I saw the Wizard (aka the infectious disease doctor). I learned more about Valley Fever, plus I was able to hear his insights about Covid. And he told me about a Margaret Atwood poem in The New Yorker. Does anybody have a copy of it? I’d love to see the poem if you could take a pic and send it over :).

For a VF case like mine, I can expect to have the exhaustion for four months. After six months if I don’t get worse I can be pretty sure I won’t be bothered by it again, except for the node or nodes left in my lung (which is just an annoyance).

As far as Covid goes, he told me no restaurants (not even outdoors) and nobody in my house to fix the sink without a mask on. I have to entertain my family outside. So basically, just what I’ve been doing since mid-March.

Two weeks ago I talked about my new archetype tarot cards and researching The Destroyer archetype. Because I’ve had other stuff I’ve had to do I didn’t get as into it as I would like as of yet. But you know what I did anyway? This is so crazy. Let me preface it by saying that lying on the couch too tired to actually do something gives me a lot of time to think. And you know what I think about? All I should be doing, all I want to be doing, and about new things to do. Insanely, I bought supplies to start an art journal. I am already missing writing, staring at the tarot boxes (Wild Unknown and Original), and not touching my SCRAP scrapbook project (fabric swatches and memories).  I need to face the fact that I am one of those people who always have to have projects going on. My dad was like that, too. I’m pretty sure there is a gene that causes it.

I have watched more TV in the past month and a half than in the last year, I think. I’m not a TV person usually, but the gardener and I recorded all the October horror movies and have been watching them. Plus we love Professor T , a Belgian mystery show, and Baptiste, sequel to The Missing. The latter is filmed in Amsterdam and is more “typical” than the former. Professor T is a bit surprising and very endearing. Then on Netflix, on my laptop, I watched (by myself) The Haunting of Bly Manor. I found it interesting (the blind casting was very thought-provoking and problematic), but a little slow-moving. I’m also left with so many questions. [SPOILER ALERT!!!!! skip to next paragraph] For instance, if the ghosts originated with Viola, why was Dani haunted by her fiance even before she went to Bly? Wait, what about Miles? How did he survive? How did grownup Flora not recognize the names Bly and Owen, especially since Owen was at her wedding? Was Jamie really at Flora’s wedding or not? She seemed ghostlike to me, but she was still alive.

My daughter says the The Haunting of Hill House is not as slow, so I should watch it.

I am so blessed. I am not in much pain, and I have a good prognosis. I have everything I need at home (except people), and I live with the gardener and six pretty kitties so am not lonely. And nobody is waiting for me to finish that art journal ;).

With Covid on the rise, PLEASE STAY SAFE. No unnecessary risks. It’s not fair to yourself, to your loved ones, or to others, including healthcare workers. But then you knew all that.


Filed under #writerlife, #writerslife, Arizona, Cats and Other Animals, Memoir, Nonfiction

18 responses to “Too Many Ideas

  1. Can you laze outside in sun or shade? That indoor couch thing sounds tedious.

  2. I hope your energy increases in good time. Baptiste and The Missing are great series.

  3. I’m not familiar with any of the shows you mentioned but then again I’ve had a hard time watching anything of substance. Currently we are watching Bones reruns from way back but some of our new shows are starting up. I am glad your health is on the mend. Hug your kitties for me!

  4. Good to hear some positive news for you!

    I think I know what you mean about always needing a project – I recognize a twinge of anxiety when my to do list gets whittled down to only one or two items. Sure, it is satisfying to tick off each task. But I like to have a choice, and something to look forward to, as well.

    That said, I am guilty of buying craft supplies and the like, fully knowing that the box will remain unopened. Don’t know how to explain that one.

  5. I’m sorry to hear it’s going to be a long recovery, but you have plenty to keep you occupied when you have the energy for it! We watched the Haunting of Hill House, but when we came to watch Bly Manor we watched two episodes and didn’t like any of the characters so didn’t continue. I LOVE Professor T though, it’s a shame they only seem to have made a few seasons!

  6. Right on, Luanne. We need to be safe for our own sake and for the sake of others.
    Bummer, but true.
    Still time to give thanks for good prognosis.

  7. The prognosis is good. Rest up, get well, Luanne. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  8. I have the New Yorker but not sure how to post a photo of the poem. If you know, tell me and I’ll send it. In the meantime here it is in characters…wishing you a speedy recovery!

    Things wear out. Also fingers.
    Gnarling sets in.
    Your hands crouch in their mittens.
    Forget chopsticks, and buttons.

    Feet have their own agendas.
    They scorn your taste in shoes
    and ignore your trails, your maps.

    Ears are superfluous:
    What are they for,
    those alien pink flaps?
    Skull fungus.

    The body, once your accomplice,
    is now your trap.
    The sunrise makes you wince:
    too bright, too flamingo.

    After a lifetime of tangling,
    of knotted snares and lacework,
    of purple headspace tornados
    with their heartrace and rubble,
    you crave the end of mazes

    and pray for a white shore,
    an ocean with its horizon;
    not, so much, bliss
    but a flat line you steer for.

    No more hiss and slosh,
    no reefs, no deeps,
    no throat rattle of gravel.

    It sounds like this:

  9. So glad your doctor’s report sounds hopeful. By spring you should be feeling much better. BTW, I love the preaching kitty.

  10. I hope you’re feeling better soon, and have some more energy.
    We liked Baptiste and Bly Manor.
    Margaret Atwood has a new poetry book out, and she was interviewed on All Things Considered. Here’s the link:

  11. I like that your prognosis is good, Luanne. I think you should hang out and enjoy the TV shows if you can. You will be up and around soon enough. Take care of yourself. Your Doc sounds intelligent.

  12. Luanne – please know that in spite of your VF and enforced lying about and in your opinion not doing much except watching too much TV – your blog is entrancing! Your kitties adore you! Your human family all love you! Your blog followers – yes! – all love you! So take heart in that. Just be you. Wait out the damn thing. Relax. Breathe. May the Gardener bring you flowers and tea or coffee or, better yet, hot chocolate. Take care. Just be you. It’s enough. 💗😻

  13. Amy

    I’m so glad to hear you are doing somewhat better, and I so appreciate your efforts to keep up with my blog. I know that reading can be exhausting—especially all my long-winded and convoluted family stories!

    I know how wonderful cats can be when you’re not feeling well (and when you are). I “only” have three, so I’d imagine that six is at least twice the joy and comfort.

    Take it easy, and see if you can find a way to relax your brain til your body catches up. Maybe meditation? Easy yoga poses? Feel better!

  14. I’m glad things are improving if only slowly. Improving is good. Also, it sounds as if your creativity has not ebbed, just your strength, and when it comes back, you might expect an explosion of creativity.

    Phil and I enjoyed “The Queen’s Gambit” TV series. Deep knowledge of chess not required. It’s just so much fun to watch Anya Taylor-Joy. Also fun to see how Walter Tevis made his protagonist evolve.

  15. Thank you for the update on your health, Luanne. I’m glad the doc has given you an encouraging prognosis. Just think of your projects as percolating. Your mind is working on them until your body’s strength returns.

  16. So glad to hear what your doctor has told you, Luanne! We are following that same advice too, and we are prepared to continue with the same practices through next spring. Hoping for good news by then! Sending you a snail-mail card soon; it has been sitting there waiting for me to write for a couple of weeks now. xo

  17. I’m so relieved that your prognosis is good and you are in a safe, comfortable, and loved space and you are being loved. I supposed if you’re going to have VF, it may as well be now when you can’t do anything anyway because of COVID. The important thing is you rest, enjoy binge-watching, and planning all those projects 🙂
    On another note, I need to dig up your posts about how you integrated Perry into your household. I know it took a long time and a lot of patience. I think we’re facing the same challenges with Raji, although at least he doesn’t need to be coaxed to eat 😉 Take care, my friend. Love you!