Category Archives: Memoir

Writing Collage

The other day I got an email advertising a writing workshop. No surprise, I get quite a few of these. This one is through r/evolution story lab, a partner of WOW Women on Writing. I have never taken a workshop with them, and I do not know the person, Nicole Breit, giving this one. The course is supposed to be designed for writers who are INFP. If you know, you know. If you don’t, this is a personality type from the Myers-Briggs personality test. I am not an INFP, but an INFJ, which is supposed to be the rarest type. I suppose it would be too much to expect somebody to design a course for those few of us who are INFJ. 

But there was something in the description that made me think about my  memoir Scrap, which is written in pieces–flash, micro, tiny essays, poems, a short playscript. Listen to this:

In just 75 minutes you’ll:

discover how it feels to write with your brain instead of against it, using mosaic method
tap into memory and sensation as you generate a fresh new piece in fragments
cut and arrange your fragments into a cohesive narrative you can’t wait to share
connect with likeminded writers in a warm, inclusive community led by an INFP/HSP/AuDHD bestselling memoir author

Why linear storytelling blocks intuitive, INFP and neurodivergent brains — and what to do instead to make writing easy and fun!
Nicole’s mosaic method: a simple, repeatable way to generate fragments, then arrange them into a finished piece
How to work with creative constraints and spark memories you wouldn’t otherwise access
Why fragments + structure = a powerful portal into your most interesting material

Now I am wondering if a reason I couldn’t write my memoir in regular chapters is because I am not only INFJ but neurodivergent or as we said in the old days ADHD. I was diagnosed as an adult and while Ritalin was very helpful to me when I was teaching, I couldn’t stay on it because of side effects. I doubt your Myers-Briggs type has anything to do with any particular neurodivergency you might or might not have, but I do know that mine is one of the intuitive types which is why I could ace math tests without being able to show my work. Very annoying since teachers and test graders generally require your calculations.

This workshop is $69, and you can try the link above for Nicole’s name if you’re interested. It appears that r/evolution is her own site.

Anyway, I thought it was pretty interesting that I do mixed media collage, used to make stained glass (another form of collage), and wrote a memoir in collage. It must be the way my mind works. Now I need to apply this knowledge even to writing small–poems and microstories.

On another note, Scrap has been long listed in the Chanticleer Collections and Anthologies contest. Fingers crossed!!!

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Filed under #ScrapSalvagingFamily, Book contest, flash memoir, hybrid memoir, Memoir, Memoir writing theory

A Red Wagon/A Grumpy Filter

Here’s a new post for my GRUMPY OLD WOMAN files. Yeah, you thought only old men were grumps a la Walter Matthau and Jack Lemmon?

OK, I’ll be the grumpy woman so that I can feel as young as I can.

I saw a girl featured on local television for collecting and distributing gifts to others in need. I am not giving more details than that because I am not here to diss her. She is doing a good thing, and I hope that the TV coverage will inspire others to do the same.

So what makes me grumpy? OK, just being totally up front here even if it makes me look, well, grumpy.

When I was in third grade, I got the idea that children in the hospital needed something to cheer them up. I enlisted the help of another girl in class and, with my teacher’s permission, asked the other kids to bring in toys for the sick kids. They did! When I had collected all the gifts, I had to somehow get them to the hospital. My school was about a mile from my home, and on the way with a little detour was the hospital. So one day I walked to school (age eight haha as if I would have let my kids do that) with my little red wagon.

After school, I loaded the gifts onto the wagon. I had to use a big box, and my teacher gave me something to use for strapping. Then I hauled that stuff all the way to the hospital over very bumpy, crumbling, weed-edged sidewalk tiles. I remember I was sweating. At the hospital they sent me and the wagon to the children’s floor. A (grumpy) nun met me at the entrance, thanked me, and sent me away.

That was that. No news coverage. After all it was only one classroom’s worth of toys. But I was eight and other than that very little bit of help from my teacher and my classmate, I did it all myself.

So why am I grumpy?

Is it because I didn’t get more of a thank you? Or that kids today get more praise for doing the right thing than when I was a kid? That my parents didn’t fully understand what I did and talk to me in a productive way about helping others? Is it because I’m old and remembering my childhood and feeling empathy for that little girl? Or is it because only a few months after that we moved away, and I had to switch schools in March, a very awkward time to enter a new school system, school, and classroom? And that the new teacher was horrible? I am having a hard time evaluating why seeing that news story brought back this event in my life and made me feel out of sorts.

If you want to read more about my little red wagon, here’s one in MacQueen’s Quarterly. It was published there two years ago so it’s possible you’ve seen it. Neither the following story nor the hospital toys story are in Scrap. 

How I loved that red wagon. You can see it parked behind the car in the photo.

 

My Haunted Childhood

 

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Tornado Salvaging

Sharing a few more photos I found scanning.

There are two micro stories in Scrap: Salvaging a Family about the May 13, 1980 tornado in Kalamazoo, Michigan (pp 90-92 in paperback). It’s sort of a transition period in the book where I am now an adult, albeit young, whereas what had come before in the book was focused on coming-of-age. It’s also foreshadowed by an earlier scene of being a kid in the basement during a tornado warning. Scrap is comprised of three parts, and the tornado is the end of part I.

I mention how my father bought up storefronts that nobody else seemed to want and tried to fix them up just enough to rent them as he had little money to invest in remodelling. I describe a wooden “canvas” hanging on the wall of my father’s store:

What I think is that he makes something usable that wasn’t. He doesn’t have the money to make them beautiful. But every once in a while, he recognizes something that is. Inside the luggage store, he’s hung a board that a painter used to clean his brushes. He calls it his Jackson Pollack (sic).

Weirdly, even though I remember looking up the correct spelling of the artist’s name, I still misspelled it in the book. For some reason, I want it to be spelled Pollack instead of Pollock. Maybe it’s because for all its interesting details it’s still a fake. (If you read Scrap you might realize why the theme of “fake” resonates with me).

Dad’s “Jackson Pollock” on the wall

Here are a couple of photos of the tornado that day.

Gilmore Brothers department store–the entire back wall of the 5 story building was blown off

ISB Bank building–all the windows were blown out

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Thank you, Beetley Pete!

Beetley Pete has let me take a space on his blog today to share a story a bit related to Scrap: Salvaging a Family. It’s a story my father and uncle told me (together) when they were 85. My uncle and my parents were visiting me at the same time, and they were getting into unearthing memories. This one is about the 1920s, 30s, 40s, and there are photos from the early days.

POST ON PETE’S BLOG

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A Photo Update to An Old Story

In my old photo scanning I have found a photo I didn’t know existed. But I had heard about the subject of the picture. In fact, I wrote about it on this blog in 2012 and then re-blogged it in 2013. It’s in a story I wrote about spending time with my maternal grandmother. I’ll repost the story here. At the end I’ll post the photo I found because by the end of the story you will know why I thought it was such a great find.

###

When I was little I stayed with my grandmother during the day while my parents were at work.  It was just Grandma and me at the house.   Grandpa worked down the block, at his Sunoco filling station.  Every day at noon, Grandma and I brought his lunch to him.  He’d climb up out of the pit where he worked under cars and smile when he saw us with his gray lunch box.

Sometimes I played with the girl up the street and other days I’d pick through the toys and books left behind in their bedrooms upstairs by my mother, Aunt Alice, and Uncle Don.  I found a giant printing set, a potholder loom and loops, and a collection of miniature furniture and animals.  In my aunt’s room, I read my first chapter book, The Bobbsey Twins.   Grandma and I fried donuts and sugared strawberries.  We sang Ethel Merman songs like “Anything You Can Do.”  I could always manage to sing louder and higher than Grandma.

Any note you can reach
I can go higher.
I can sing anything
Higher than you.
No, you can’t. (High)
Yes, I can. (Higher) No, you can’t. (Higher)
Yes, I CAN! (Highest)

Occasionally, we walked “uptown” to the bank, passing the thrift store, which fascinated me. I thought it was a combination antique store and fine dress shop.  Also en route was the home of the Purple People Eaters.  My overweight, matronly grandmother sang the song and danced right there on the sidewalk for me.  It was years before I realized the building was actually a dry cleaning establishment, painted purple.

Grandma carried the filling station’s bank deposit bag in her big pocketbook, which also held mints and pennies for me.   We stopped at the florist to say hi to some relatives and at the bakery for sugar cookies.

With all the fun Grandma orchestrated, I still got bored one time.  I was in “that mood,” the one where it seems that all is wrong with the world.  Grandma knew how to handle the situation.  She put me in an old work shirt of Grandpa’s and handed me a paint brush.

“Come outside,” she said.  On the back stoop, she’d placed an old wooden child’s chair on a spread-out newspaper. “Go to town, Luanne,” she said.  I worked hard for a long time, painting that chair, which seemed so big

When my mother picked me up after work that day, she laughed.  “Mom, you had her do the same thing you made Don do to keep him busy!”  Even today when I feel “at odds,” this example keeps me working, moving forward through the doldrums.

Grandma did her chores while I was at her house.  She cooked and baked and ran errands, which were all on foot or by bus, as she didn’t drive.  I helped her and learned at her elbow.  She ironed my parents’ clothes, too, while I played at the kitchen table and sang with her.   She didn’t waste our time cleaning too much, but everything else got done—and done well.

She devoted a half hour to herself every day, watching As the World Turns while I “napped” beside her on the couch.

Mostly, though, Grandma doted on me and made sure I could learn and use my imagination.  She sat me on her lap and told me stories “from her head.” Her attention wasn’t fragmented by a cell phone or computer.  She limited her telephone and TV usage.  She was completely there in the moment with me each day.

Can we say the same today for our children and grandchildren and the children we babysit?

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Here is the addendum to the story. A photo showing Uncle Don painting the same chair! This would have been about 1941.

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Filed under Family, Family history, Grandparenting, Memoir, Nonfiction, Writing

Scrap’s Ebook Now on Amazon!

Great news about Scrap! You can now order the ebook on Amazon!

Sorry for shouting! I’m just excited. Here’s the link:

ORDER SCRAP IN EBOOK

ORDER SCRAP IN PAPERBACK

If you haven’t read Scrap: Salvaging a Family I hope you will. And if you have, I hope you like it and will share with others who might like it or find it helpful, especially with generational trauma, family dysfunction and abuse, or writing outside the boundaries of genre.

If you’ve written a review for Scrap and are on BookBub, the book will show up there soon–it’s pending approval. I’d appreciate it if you could copy your review over there!

Years ago I was writing posts inspired by the Dawn Raffel book The Secret Life of Objects.  My magical music box, one of the objects, has shown up in Scrap. I still own it, too! Actually I wrote about it twice on this blog. The first time was to introduce the music box. At that time I didn’t know what music it plays. The second time was after I discovered the song it plays: La Paloma.

Magical Music Box

The Origin of Poetry

You know what I just realized? I’ve never let Hudson hear or even see the music box. He spent the night last weekend and then was here all day yesterday because school was closed. He’s almost 2.5. Can you believe it?!

I’ll have to share the music box with him. He loves music, and I want him to experience it as I did.

Yesterday we went to storytime at the library (lots of exercise for Grandma as story is more like “story” called movement), got lunch with chocolate milk, swam (with Grandpa), played with Mickey Mouse playdough (his favorite character is not the usual for kids today–it’s Minnie Mouse!), played the piano, and painted. Of course painted. He insisted and kept bringing it up. He paints with acrylics on canvas so it’s quite a mess. But another beautiful painting was added to his portfolio.

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Filed under #seekgathercreate, Art and Music, Book Review, Family, Family history, flash memoir, Flash Nonfiction, Grandparenting, hybrid memoir, Memoir, Nonfiction, SCRAP: SALVAGING A FAMILY

Memory’s Little Nudges

“There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance,” said Shakespeare’s Ophelia.

I do love rosemary. The scent. And the taste in food.

Speaking of memory, I am fascinated by this quote:

“He who remembers his childhood better
Than others is the winner,
If there are any winners at all.”

from “1924” by Yehuda Amichai

What do you think he means by that?

I wonder if it has to do with learning from our pasts?

Do you think about memory very often?

I think that I do, but sometimes it is because I feel a sense of responsibility for what I haven’t even asked for. For instance, big batches of old family photos keep turning up in my care. I have been scanning the lot of photos from my mother’s house when she moved from the garden home to the “big house” which is the apartment building in her retirement community (now she lives in a different building, in assisted living). Nobody else was going to do this, so I felt responsible for the photos. My grandfather and my father had put a lot of time into taking pictures.

Then yesterday a big box shows up on my porch. My brother sent me all the photo albums that were left over.

Eventually I have to organize all my scans and post them where family members can get them. Or some such.

In the meantime, I do feel some stress over it.

But then I find photos that bring me back to a moment in time. I went on a trip to California with my parents and brother between 7th and 8th grade. My father had quit smoking, and the money he saved went toward the trip. Our goal was to head down to LA to visit my cousins, but we landed in San Francisco for a few days. We found the intersection of Haight and Ashbury where I searched for hippies who were left over from the previous summer’s Summer of Love.

We ran into a filming of the TV show Ironside. I loved that show. Raymond Burr who played Perry Mason for years on TV now played a police chief who was in a wheelchair. One of the stars was Don Galloway. The scene being filmed on the street had Galloway outside and Burr’s stunt double inside a white van. My dad, never shy to ask, got Galloway to pose for a picture with my brother and me. I also got his autograph, but I don’t have that any longer. Can you dig my groovy yellow wrap-style sunglasses?

Of course, when I went back to school after our trip, I was so much more sophisticated than the previous year.  Or so I thought!

Here’s another pic. In this one my brother and I (perhaps age 14) are playing Monopoly with my father at our house we lived at until I was done with junior high. I mentioned the game in Scrap, but game playing had an even bigger part in my childhood than I wrote about in the book. Monopoly was only one of several games, but it was the one most fitting for my father who began, when I was a teen, to collect buildings in real life in much the same way he did when playing the game. Because he didn’t have a lot of money to spend, they were usually older, run-down, in need of some TLC.

So I don’t need rosemary to remember. Just the drudgery of scanning old photos.

Or really anything. Everything reminds me of something before.

ORDER SCRAP: SALVAGING A FAMILY

ORDER SCRAP – AMAZON

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The Economy of a Poet

Like so many, I feel a real affinity for the poetry of Sylvia Plath. She’s my favorite poet as Shirley Jackson is my favorite prose writer and Remedios Varo is my favorite artist.

For my MFA explication I wrote about the Plath poem “Fever 103.” I still love that poem which so well captures that feeling of having a high fever without really talking about fever or being ill.

For my PhD dissertation, each chapter was focused on one female poet and one type of identity. For my Plath chapter I wrote about performing gender.

Later, when I began to write more poetry, I could feel the influence of Plath’s poetry on me.

Most inspirational for me was how candid and direct her poetry sounds. And under the surface, I suppose, was her search for who her father was and how he connected to her. These features really guided me in writing Scrap: Salvaging a Family. But they also helped in creating this collage for Raw Lit, Issue 9. The Making of a Daddy which relies upon the imagery from two poems Plath wrote about her father: “Daddy” and “The Colossus.”

***

“Spare, precise, and quietly devastating, this is the kind of memoir that stays in the body long after the reading is done.”

That’s what the editorial review at The Book Review calls my memoir.

The Book Revue – 5 Star Review

Here’s another favorite paragraph:

“Her prose has the economy of a poet who knows exactly which word is doing the work and which ones can be cut. She has a remarkable ability to locate enormous emotion inside small, specific objects and moments, a trait that is genuinely rare and that gives the book its distinctive texture.”

ORDER SCRAP IN EBOOK OR PAPERBACK

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I’m Posting This Before I Get Too Nervous

Holy moly. I actually videotaped myself reading from the opening of Scrap: Salvaging a Family. 

Can’t stand seeing myself or hearing myself.

🙈🙉

I’m a little insecure about it, so feel free to “like” it on youtube ;).

It’s a little over 2 minutes long. Thanks for watching.

Scrap: Salvaging a Family

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Filed under #ScrapSalvagingFamily, Book promotion, hybrid memoir, Memoir

A Fedora Stand and Antique Photographs

Anthony Avina has published a guest post on his blog. I wrote about the time period of my memoir Scrap: Salvaging a Family and included anecdotes and photographs (antique or nearly so) not found in the book. Fedora stand explanation is found in the guest post!

GUEST POST BY LUANNE

I hope you enjoy reading about some of what didn’t make it into the book itself.

###

Perry’s ashes were hand delivered to us by the cremation company. I cleared off a shelf to store them, his photo, and the picture book I used to read him every day when he was in the shelter.

Lily now lives alone on the kitchen side of the house with Sloopy Anne on the bedroom side. I wonder if Lily now regrets being so mean to Sloops because she’s suffering from loneliness and grief. I had to take her to the vet yesterday (yes, she has an urgent care open on Sundays) and get her fluids and Gabapentin because she wasn’t eating or pooping. She’s doing a little better with much TLC from the Gardener and me.

It’s my turn to sleep on the couch with her tonight because last night was the Gardener’s turn.

 

 

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