I’m borrowing Auden’s title for his book-length poem that won the Pulitzer in 1948 because contemporary life is even more anxiety-provoking than in the 20th century. Maybe it’s because I’m living in the now, but it seems to me that all our technology has brought waves of anxiety into the lives of . . . well, of most of us.
In my own family most members deal with anxiety issues and some of us–myself included–have social anxiety. I do not take medication for mine, but if I had to go to a worksite every day these days, maybe I would have to do so.
Because of my childhood, I suffered from anxiety early on, but once I was an adult and not living with my family of origin, my anxiety became significantly better. Until the advent of the computer, the cell phone, and the impersonal communication (aided by tech) of every business and medical provider I interact with, that is. Now it’s back as it was when I was a child living in my parents’ home. No, it’s worse.
The American Psychological Association, on its website, describes anxiety this way: “An emotion characterized by apprehension and somatic symptoms of tension in which an individual anticipates impending danger, catastrophe, or misfortune.” Somatic. That means tension manifests itself physically. Frequently with anxiety we dread the known or the unknown.
When I wrote my memoir Scrap: Salvaging a Family I struggled to find ways to describe the feelings of anxiety I remembered in my memories. The descriptions crop up over and over again, often related to my stomach. My stomach surged, suffered a giant crab crawing aboard, a thundercloud, a hard rock, a gathering wave, was hooked by claws. “Dread began to fill me, coursing its way through my body” (129). Terror, fear, and anger are all directly associated with the stomach in Scrap.
I have anxiety over AI. Many people say it won’t be so bad and in fact is positive. They use the initial fear over every new invention as proof. But AI is different. It has the ability to affect absolutely everything we know, especially facts and ethics.
But it’s hard to live with anxiety pulsing through my limbs every day. So what do I do? I am riding the stationary bike every day, napping, and reading more. The gardener and I plan vacations. I push myself to see friends on a one-to-one basis. And I make sure we set up family time quite often. A dose of my sweet grandson Hudson is a perfect tonic. When I am with him, anxiety slinks out the door.
What do you do for your anxiety?
I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this, Luanne! I think I became more anxious during and after Covid. I walk and exercise a lot–just taking time to read relaxes me, too.
Exercise and reading are invaluable for relaxing from it all. I think you’re right that Covid jumpstarted this anxiety for me.
I’m still trying to figure out how to handle it. Activity helps to some degree but the sensation that something’s going to happen never goes away.
Oh exactly! I’m so sorry, Kate. It’s that dread of the unknown. This is not right to be living this way all the time, but how can it be helped? If I try to “lose” my cell phone for awhile somebody always gets mad or I lose out on a medical appt or somesuch.
I have often wondered about anxiety. In my life, I have gone through what was described to me by a psychologist as “Horrific” life events. Yet, I remain free of anxiety. Even now, battling stage four cancer, I don’t have anxious moments. It might be that I have centered myself in the concept of looking for the positive side of any situation. Sometimes it is hard to find beyond the phrase I used to use with my direct reports in business when situations got dire, “At least no one died.” I have also exercised my whole life, so that may have an effect as well. I hope you have fewer anxious moments as time goes on, Luanne.
Thank you, John. I did not know that about the cancer, John!!! I feel for you having to go through all the aspects of that. I think your sense of humor probably helps you, for one thing! Exercising is so important. I have never been a big exerciser, but the Gardener has been big on exercise his whole adult life, and I think it’s crucial for his well-being. Now I am finding it necessary for me. You’ll be in my prayers, John, if that’s ok with you!
I have always been an anxious person too. Yes, social anxiety is my biggest problem. I do appreciate my hermit lifestyle. But now with my debut chapbook being released, I do have to come out of my shell. I actually bring my own cheer squad with me.
Veronica, I feel for you!!! Yes, having to promote my book this year is soooo hard and about to get harder as I have 5 events planned through January. One I will be with a friend and one with my daughter. You are so smart about your cheer squad!!! Maybe I should see if my DIL wants to visit with me at one of them! Congratulations on your chapbook!!!!
Thank you, Luanne. Congratulations on your book as well.
Thank you, Veronica!
Luanne, this is an insightful post and follow-up discussion. I LOVE your words “anxiety slinks out the door” when you are with Hudson. It is such a wonderful image!!! For me, creativity is especially important. When I am writing, reading poetry aloud, exploring a painting, listening to music, or simply following an idea wherever it leads, I find myself relaxing. My attention shifts from worrying about what might happen to becoming absorbed in what I am creating or discovering. I cannot solve everything that concerns me, nor can I know what comes next. I am now involved in daily meditation. Not a long meditation, just enough to attend to the day that is actually in front of me and to make something within it.
Rebecca, meditation is such a good idea. The Gardener used to meditate so we have a lot of meditation cassette tapes (not sure I have a player for them any longer!). You are so right about creativity. Such a wonderful way to relax!
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I don’t watch TV. I’m reachable to very few via my cellphone. Prayer is such a godsend, beginning with praise, right before each of those naps fibromyalgia insists I take, and when I wake during the night. And that early morning mosey and the one at dusk.
Very smart, Joy. I am so happy that prayer is a godsend for you. Walking is wonderful. Unfortunately I have a bad callus on the foot I had a tumor in, and now they are telling me walking makes it worse. That’s why I am riding the stationary bike every day and it’s really proving to be good for me.
When I’m feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, I listen to my favorite songs, which really helps. Going for scenic drives with my husband also helps. I take Prozac so I don’t restrict my food when I’m anxious.
The songs definitely help. And now I figured out that Spotify could give me all my favorites in one Playlist with one command. The gardener and I used to love scenic drives in Michigan, but once we moved to more crowded areas driving is just one big anxiety-causing nightmare. I’m glad you still have scenery around you!!!
There are still a lot of back roads in New Hampshire and Vermont.
Ugh! Anxiety! Well, as you say, it’s hard to escape it these days. What do I do? I avoid socializing if it’s not necessary. I take daily walks. I attend theatre and musical events; those are both anxiety producing and anxiety relieving. I take long vacations far from home, which is feasible for an old lady like me. What would I like to do? Live a hermit’s life in a little cabin in Three Rivers.
So hard to avoid. Walking is very good! You do a lot more travel and events than I do. When my kids were young I thought I was less of a hermit than you, but now I’m sure I’m more of a hermit. One of the issues with attending theatre and non-light-problem concerts for me is the idea of getting ready on time, etc. All too much! I like your fantasy!