Since Colleen Chesebro’s weekly #TankaTuesday poetry prompts are so inspiring to me, I bought her book that describes the various types of syllabic poetry so that I could use that as a guide instead of the wonderful links she has on the Wordcraft website. This way, the book is right at my side when I need it.
Ironically, this week’s #TankaTuesday is to write in a form not in the book. We are to write a poem about a bird in the Japanese form Imayo.
The imayo is comprised of four 12-syllable lines. Each line is divided into a 7-syllable and a 5-syllable section, with a hard pause (or caesura) in between. The pause will generally be represented by a comma, semi-colon, or similar punctuation.
- 4 lines (8 lines permissible)
- 12 syllables per line divided as 7-5
- make a pause space between the 7 and 5 syllables
- use comma, caesura or kireji (cutting word) as the pause
- no rhymes
- no meter
- no end of line pauses – the whole should flow together as though one long sentence
- The Imayo is a literal poem so do not use symbolism, allegory etc.
I decided to write about the Great Blue Heron that showed up in my yard last year. In the photo, the coyote behind the heron is an inanimate metal coyote!
I glanced out the front window — the Great Blue Heron
stood motionless by the pool — it stared straight ahead
perhaps lost in the desert — perhaps it mistook
pool for a swamp or wetland — beauty or sadness?
###
Hmm not my favorite form. When the description mentions “literal,” it means the form is not to employ figurative imagery. In general, in English language poetry, literal poems tend to be for children whereas figurative poems (using metaphor, simile, etc ) are for adults. In a literal poem the focus is on a plain description or a simple point or philosophy.
I agree with you. Not my favorite form either.
It’s too prose like and also too bossy.
Bossy? 🙂
Haha so many rules!
I don’t like rules especially when I’m trying to be creative.
I don’t mind a few rules. I like prompts in general, but I like to go aways from the letter of the rules haha.
Just the same, nicely done, Luanne.
Thank you, Anneli. We work with what we’re given 😉
I’m not crazy about syllabic poetry in general, but it seemed to me from the dVerse prompt and examples I read that the form could include imagery, just not symbols and metaphors–the same as haiku. It’s like a longer observation than a haiku.
Yes, it is. But a haiku is so small. Something ok in a small dose is not always ok in a larger dose. Imagery yes. But literal not figurative. Literal imagery like “the red sun slid down past the horizon.” Rather than figurative like “the sun is a red ball.”
I never get the forms – but I like your interpretation
Syllabic poetry is something I was never interested in, but they are inter To study and good exercises for me. Thank you, Derrick!
I’d say this is a very challenging form. Your heron, though, provided the perfect muse
Thank you so much! The heron was so beautiful, but he was in completely the wrong place! The form is challenging, and I don’t feel comfortable with it. It doesn’t suit my personality, I think. So far the syllabic forms I’ve used that I like better are haibuns (love them) and tanka (very sweet and simple). But there are many more to try!
I like the haibuns and tankas also. Thanks
They are wonderful and easy to work with.
Very difficult, Luanne but Bravo to you for working it – seems like a kind of puzzle to me!
She’s got it, oh baby, she’s got it!!
Definitely a puzzle, but not a lot of room for creativity IMO. But I did it!!!! haha
You are the Poetry Whisperer – you can do it all!
Oooh, I LOVE that! Poetry Whisperer!
Not your favorite, but you did it well.
Thank you, John! So nice of you to say so!
😊
I like your poem!!! The heron is beautiful…such a stately creature. I like the last line of your poem…good ending!
Thank you, Linda! Yes, very stately! I understand they do stand very still like that, but he had to be thinking, where am I and where do I go now?! Thank you re the last line. I was pretty happy to come up with that ;)! XO
A startling photo for a challenging poetic form
Thank you, Ellen. Yes, it’s a challenging form and it feels awkward to me. Isn’t that heron something?! Right in the middle of the desert!
Even with both hands tied behind your back by the form’s rules, you managed to wriggle one hand free enough to write a very effective poem. “[B]eauty or sadness” makes the poem.
Oh thank you, Liz. That’s so nice!
You’re welcome, Luanne!
You do everything well, Luanne!❤️
Aw thank you!!!
Because I’m a literal-minded person, I confess I like this form. I enjoy metaphor, but writing one is nearly impossible for me.
Interesting! Literal-minded. That makes me think of Amelia Bedelia. I guess that is carrying it too far haha.
I wasn’t familiar with those books. They sound like fun. But no, I’m not quite that bad!
LOL, I didn’t think so! Amelia Bedelia books are hilarious. And they show how ridiculous our expressions are when looked at literally.
I have Colleen’s book as well. I love it to pieces. You will, if you don’t already. It’s a treasure.
As for your yard, wow. The snake, the piggy-like piglet missing his mommy and now the great blue heron. OOH, gorgeous. And this poem is exquisite. Thanks for sharing, Luanne. Blessings.
Selma, thank you so much! We do have quite the wildlife zoo ;). I am really enjoying Colleen’s book!!!
It’s a treasurehub indeed, that book. Happy summer, Luanne. blessings
Thank you, Selma! You too!
Hi Luanne, very nice poem. The responses are so varied this week, it’s good fun reading them.
Haha, yes, they are very varied! Thanks for reading the post and comments, Robbie. And I’m glad you like the poem!
This form is quite challenging but you seem to have sailed smoothly Luanne. I like how it flows!
Balroop, thank you so much. It really is challenging. I am so glad you like it!
Well, I like what you did with it, but, yeah, too many rules!
Haha too many even to hold in my memory!
Your poem captures that stillness of a heron, where it’s easy to wonder what they might be thinking.
Thank you! I understand they are still because they are predators, but this one had to be confused by the pool and no marsh grasses!
What a beautiful bird and I love your Imayo, it captures the scene perfectly 💞
Thank you, Angela! Such a gorgeous bird! I’m thrilled you like my Imayo!
Your backyard is a wild life refuge, Luanne!! Wow, to see a great blue heron so close to home. Very inspiring. 💙
It was such a shock to see it there!!! We do have a lot of wildlife!
This was a new syllabic form I learned about from the dVerse Poet’s Pub. I’m still researching the form, but I believe the subject of the poem is the focus. In my example, I tried to be quite literal. I was more surprised by the use of the kireji (cutting word) which we don’t normally use as it’s not translatable from Japanese. In my book, I call this a “pivot” where you change the direction of your poem to another aspect. In the Imayo, they use punctuation to achieve this goal. It’s an interesting concept. Your poem is fine, and how cool to have a Great Blue Heron visit! 🩵
Thanks, Colleen. Kieji or pivot seems kind of like a Volta in a sonnet. I felt like this new form was a little awkward, but it could be that it would take me a lot of time to study it.
I agree. In August, I’ll have run this challenge for 7 years. I decided next year, I’m going back to the twelve forms I used in my Word Craft: Prose & Poetry book. I think I’ll add the imayo because it’s unusual. I’ll be using the Japanese seasonal calendar to guide the prompts. I think it will give us all a change to learn more about the seasons and the forms. 💜
That’s a great idea!
I’ve been working on my idea all day. I’m so excited. I think it will be great fun! 9/27/23 is the date… the new year will start on the 26th one day early. LOL!
Wow that is perfect!!! Now I’m excited!!!
Yay! I hope you’ll like my idea. I’m still ironing out all the edges.
I am sure I will!!!
I love how you bring in conflicting emotions, Luanne! I think your poem is great!
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
Thank you so much, Yvette! I’m glad you appreciate what the poem worked toward!
Very nicely done 💜💜
Thank you so much!!!
WordPress is giving me issues as I am trying to “like” this post. Anyway, I love this! The flow of thought from one line to the next is perfect. The message is wonderful.👌🏻
Yay!!! So glad you love it! xo
Lovely poem to go with the stillness of the heron. I like the question you pose at the end, Luanne. <3 .
Thank you, Carol! The heron had to have a pretty poem since it was so beautiful!
What an unexpected surprise! Beautiful.
Oh thank you so much!