Today I am handing over the keys to this blog to my dear IRL friend romance novelist Eden Robins who is sharing a guest post about something close to her heart. Feel free to share this blog post with anyone you think might want to own their own life!
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Own Your Own Life
Every person gets to ask themselves this:
“Who am I, who do I want to be, and how do I choose to be in this moment?”
Own your own life.
That’s an underlying theme in the novels I write and it’s my mission in guiding others as a life coach.
I’ve been asked a number of times what I mean by the phrase, “own your own life”. My answer is what you might expect. It means you get to decide the kind of life you live today, tomorrow and for the rest of your days.
Okay, so now I’ve answered the question.
We’re done here, right?
Doesn’t everyone own their own life? After all, they’re the ones living it. Who else would own your life but you?
The answer may seem simple but, as I’ve learned over several decades on this earth, simple does not always mean easy.
Nevertheless, it’s important to understand exactly who’s running your life.
Why?
If who you believe you are is based on how others see you, or how you imagine they’re seeing you, then you’re not running your own life. You’re running on the hamster wheel of other people’s expectations, or your perception that they have those expectations.
Owning your own life starts with understanding who you are and what’s most important to you (aka your values). As a life coach, I help empower people to fully discover and embrace themselves and their values so they can take charge of and live their own best life. This empowerment can lead to a better job, healthier and happier relationships, an improved quality of life, smoother transitions and more confidence, courage, consistency and clarity in pursuing dreams and goals.
Life coaching isn’t about telling people what to do. Rather, it’s about guiding them to an understanding of what they already sense about themselves but haven’t fully settled into yet.
Sometimes, settling into the truth can be the hardest obstacle to overcome.
I know that because I’ve experienced it myself.
Well into my fifties, I decided to become a life coach. Yet, I couldn’t even bring myself to say, “I’m a life coach”. I’d use terms like “mentor”, “sponsor” or “guide”.
“Life coach” felt too expansive, too formal and way beyond how I saw myself. I was unable to reconcile who a life coach was with who I was. I was convinced I didn’t have what it took to do the job.
Even after I received my life coaching certification, those old, overused “you’re not enough” recordings played repeatedly in my head…
All that volunteer work didn’t make me a life coach. So what if I received a certification in life coaching? That didn’t mean anything. So what if I had over a decade of experience? That didn’t count because I hadn’t charged money for my services. You’re too old. It’s too late.
The negative chatter droned on incessantly for over two years after I received my certification. I realize now that this time in between was valuable because my beliefs began shifting and sharpening as my idea of what it meant to be a coach evolved and became clearer.
I hired other coaches to work with me. I also studied coaching by taking classes, attending workshops, and researching others in my field. All the while, I continued my volunteer coaching. I grasp now that I was progressing during that time because I had made the choice to be curious and stay open to change even when mired in self-doubt.
In other words, I decided to dig into and face the truth about myself in a way that eventually led to an important question.
What if I AM enough?
That simple, quiet question grew louder and louder in my mind until I could no longer ignore it and decided to answer it by asking another question.
What does it mean to be a life coach?
That question changed everything for a few reasons.
First, it cracked open my resistance to accepting the truth about myself, which became just enough of an opening to let my curiosity bloom. Second, I realized that those two years following my certification provided me with the opportunity to explore and learn the answer. And third, timing played a big part. I believe that if I hadn’t spent those years learning, staying curious, and questioning if, perhaps, I was enough, I might still be sitting on the fence rather than taking action.
My curiosity helped me know in my gut the answer to the question, “What does it mean to be a life coach?”
My answer was a knowing deep in my gut that declared, “I hold everything I need to be a life coach inside of me right now.”
That shift from resistance to curiosity led me to a new awareness of myself and helped me become ready to face the truth of who I was.
Every person gets to ask themselves this: “Who am I, who do I want to be, and how do I choose to be in this moment?”
Owning your own life is ultimately about realizing that you have power over the life you live because you get to choose who and how you want to be every second of living it. That power is always there, no matter your age, the people around you, or what’s happening in your world.
I’d like to leave you with this truth-filled reminder by the extraordinarily talented author, Alice Walker:
“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
Through my novels and my coaching, my goal has been to remind you of this simple, but powerful truth. You do and always have had the choice to own your own life. And don’t worry. If you aren’t sure how to walk that path of self-awareness and empowerment, I’ve got your back.
I once lived a disempowered life, and I know without a doubt that I can help you, as I’ve helped others, rediscover the confidence, courage, clarity, and power you’ve had inside you all along.
Isn’t it time to own your own life?
Eden Robins is a certified life coach, best-selling author, and owner of her own life. When not writing edge of your seat adventures, Eden helps people take charge of their life by taking charge of their own thoughts. Want the latest tips and tools for creating a life you love? Sign up for Eden’s Own Your Own Life newsletter here.
