Anthony Avina has published a guest post on his blog. I wrote about the time period of my memoir Scrap: Salvaging a Family and included anecdotes and photographs (antique or nearly so) not found in the book. Fedora stand explanation is found in the guest post!
GUEST POST BY LUANNE
I hope you enjoy reading about some of what didn’t make it into the book itself.
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Perry’s ashes were hand delivered to us by the cremation company. I cleared off a shelf to store them, his photo, and the picture book I used to read him every day when he was in the shelter.
Lily now lives alone on the kitchen side of the house with Sloopy Anne on the bedroom side. I wonder if Lily now regrets being so mean to Sloops because she’s suffering from loneliness and grief. I had to take her to the vet yesterday (yes, she has an urgent care open on Sundays) and get her fluids and Gabapentin because she wasn’t eating or pooping. She’s doing a little better with much TLC from the Gardener and me.
It’s my turn to sleep on the couch with her tonight because last night was the Gardener’s turn.
Cats mourn too. She is lucky to have you and the Gardener.
At least we’re staying on top of things as best we can. She turned down regular food tonight, but once I added the water and milk frother, she was happy. So that’s 2 meals today, although they are a bit small.
Awww I hope you she is improving.. You’re such good parents.. xx
Thanks, Cindy. i slept with her last night, but at first she was confused and didn’t realize I was there. She started crying. When I called to her she came and slept in my arms. And yesterday when I was upstairs and my husband outside, she started crying.
Awwww! It will take time but your arms will be where she’ll want to be❣️💕
And daddy’s lap.
Poor Lily. I hope she feels better. Any chance she and Sloopy Anne may decide to tolerate each other?
I enjoyed the guest post. It’s funny we’re about the same age, but had such different upbringings. My dad was older than yours and he never wore a hat, and by the 70s, he did not want to wear a tie anymore.
My father, born in 1926, HATED hats and never wore them. He wore suits until he started working for himself, and then he worked in jeans or “dungarees” as they called them then. But he often wore a tie! He said it kept his neck warm. 😉
That’s funny! 😊
When I was a teen, my dad went back to school, and then became a college professor. He usually wore a mock turtleneck or polo shirt with a blazer jacket and khakis. I don’t think he ever wore jeans.
I think my father was ahead of his time with jeans. He was an architect so was artsy and “cool” for those times (but only in his attire!).
My dad was always a liberal, but I don’t think he was ever cool. Maybe he thought he was though. 😂
Yeah, that was my dad also! He was cool in some ways, but in other ways…not so much!
My dad was in sales when he was younger, so he had to wear a suit. The hat went with it until he could unload it, but he was not a hat person really. Then when he owned the garbage business he dressed casually and when he bought the store he started wearing sport coats with a rotary pin. As he accumulated old buildings he worked on plenty of stuff himself and dressed casually. At that point he only wore the sport coat when he had a bank meeting, a downtown association meeting, etc. His favorite attire, I’m sure, was for golf, but dull colors for the most part.
I imagine when my dad had the antique business and was meeting with wealthy clients in the 1960s, he probably wore a suit. I just don’t remember it.
Oh he probably did! I think they liked the late 60s and 70s when mens clothes were a little freer.
Now to Lily. I have wondered that about Sloopy but honestly the hatred has been so strong I would be scared to put them together. She becomes vicious about Sloops.
😔
Poor Lily. Do you think that she may now be more willing to share space with Sloopy Anne? We once had a cat (also named Lily) who had no use for people until after our other cat Sneakers died. She hadn’t had any use for him either, and he was a devoted lap cat. But after he died, Lily suddenly wanted human affection. So you never know…maybe it’s not too late for Lily and Sloopy Anne.
And that story about chasing the mercury. OMG. Did he know it was poisonous? Was he trying to be funny or just mean?
I just don’t know if I can dare risk them together. Lily is so awful to Sloopy. She has hated her from the moment she first saw her. No idea why. Sloopy Anne is more of a loner type. She loves us and needs us with her part of the time, obviously, but she is happy without other cats. She was chased by male cats at the shelter. That’s why we brought her home one day. Then her life changed 3 years ago when Lily and Meesker showed up. Meesker was fine. They were kind of two of a type, more quiet. But Lily!!! Ugh, poor Sloops.
Yes, I wish I knew why he did the mercury. I’m guessing he did not know and that he thought it was funny watching them. They lived with he and his wife and their mom from birth to before school started. In the photos of my great-grandfather he is always turning his head away from the camera, but there are photos of him physically clowning around with the kids on the lawn. Overall, I think he was a pretty stern person. His wife was more of a sweet person. But there was a lot of dysfunction in that family that is seen through the generations that come after, not just in mine, but in the other branches from his other kids. One thing I know from Uncle Frank is that one of his sons-in-law was an extreme practical joker, the really nasty type. So did my great-grandfather have a bit of that to his personality? Maybe.
Good luck with Lily…poor baby. Maybe she also feels your grief as much as her own, maybe more. Cats do pick up our feelings.
I never thought of her as that type of personality. She’s extremely needy and clingy to humans (so of course everyone who meets her loves her) but can be a bully to cats. When she was younger we used to say she was vain, too. Kind of the opposite of my cat Pear Blossom who was a kind soul, giving solace to anyone–human or animal–who didn’t feel well, etc. I would be more inclined to think that she’s feeling sorry for herself in missing Perry, but what if I am wrong?
LOL! Trying to read a cat’s mind is a challenge for sure, but I have always found that they are more sensitive to our moods than I would have thought. Just keep loving her, and who knows? She may change like our Lily did (and she was about fourteen at that time).
I do hope Lily is feeling better, that she’s adjusting, although it must be so, so hard.
Congratulations on this article. This is such a great insight: “family relationships do not take place in a vacuum, but within the culture at large.”
She had to have a dental yesterday!!! She doesn’t know what’s going on with her world. Her resorptive tooth disease got really bad all of a sudden and she was in a lot of pain. Now she has stitches and the threat of possibly more oral surgery in a month or so. All without her brother. Poor thing.
Thank you about the article. It’s true, isn’t it? My relationship with my dad was formed from the time period he grew up in as well as the time period I grew up in–vastly different periods.
Poor baby! I guess you’ll have to lay the TLC on very thick (and I know you and the Gardener will 🩷).
I don’t think my mom ever outgrew the time period she grew up in. She was a “benign” hoarder (she was skillful at hiding what she hoarded) which I attribute to her growing up on a poor farm during the Great Depression. It made for tense times between us.
Lily demands it ;).
Oh, that is tough. The Gardener’s mother was also from that time period and from a big family, poor, and turned out to be a hoarder as well. So I can relate a bit on that.
I hope Lily is okay.